Makeup 101: A (Mostly) Serious Introduction to the Art of Not Looking Like Yourself

Makeup 101: A (Mostly) Serious Introduction to the Art of Not Looking Like Yourself

Makeup, at its most exalted, is not simply pigment smeared across unsuspecting skin. It is theatre, disguise, ritual, and, if you’re late to brunch, salvation. For centuries, humans have dabbled in the fine art of altering their faces with powders, paints, and the occasional questionable concoction involving lead. Luckily, in 2025, we’ve refined the craft. Now it’s a heady cocktail of science, artistry, and a dash of sorcery conveniently packaged in glossy tubes.

Whether you’re here as a wide-eyed novice, a seasoned contourer, or someone who thinks “BB cream” is a new K-pop band, this primer is your gentle (and only mildly sarcastic) welcome to the world of makeup.

The Foundations of Foundation

Foundation is less about covering flaws and more about pretending you’ve had eight hours of sleep, two litres of water, and a week at a spa in Provence. From dewy liquids to matte powders, your options are many and yes, the shade you pick matters. (Hint: matching your neck is infinitely more flattering than auditioning for a role as an Oompa-Loompa.)

Concealer: Small Tube, Big Lies

The concealer’s job description? Hide the evidence of last night’s “just one more episode” marathon. Dab it under the eyes, around the nose, or anywhere life has rudely left a mark. It’s like Photoshop, only in cream form and without the existential guilt.

Eyes: The Windows to Your Sephora Loyalty Card

Eyeshadow palettes are modern art exhibitions, only smaller and much shinier. Do you need 42 shades of beige? No. Will you buy them anyway? Absolutely. Pair with mascara (the wand of life) and eyeliner (the fickle frenemy who betrays you at the first sign of humidity), and you’re halfway to sultry. Or raccoon chic, depending on your technique.

Lips: The Final Word

Lipstick is rebellion in a bullet. Red announces glamour, nude whispers subtlety, and gloss says, “Yes, my hair is now permanently glued to my mouth, but I look fabulous.” Whatever your shade of choice, it’s the punctuation mark of your entire face.

Why Bother?

Because makeup is fun. It’s performance art for the everyday. Some days you’re a minimalist. Other days you’re auditioning for Cirque du Soleil with a glitter cut crease. Either way, it’s about creativity, not conformity. Makeup doesn’t change who you are, it simply turns up the volume.

So welcome to Makeup 101: the beginning of a long, occasionally expensive, but always entertaining journey of powders, pigments, and endless possibilities.

Artistic interpretation - details may differ from the actual.